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Being an artist doesn’t take much, just everything you got. Which means, of course, that as the process is giving you life, it is also bringing you closer to death. But it’s no big deal. They are one in the same and cannot be avoided or denied. So when I totally embrace this process, this life/death, and abandon myself to it, I transcend all this meaningless gibberish and hang out with the gods. It seems to me that that is worth the price of admission.
- Hubert Selby, Jr.
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November 4th, 2005
Today we introduce a thrilling new sequential art drama:
“THE SECRET LIVES OF MEATS”
September 29th, 2005
“My name is ‘Dawn’. You see, I changed my name. I got rid of some letters and switched some other letters around. So now it’s spelled D-A-W-N.”
“But that is how you spell ‘Dawn’.
“But my name was originally ‘Wanda’”.
 …or words to that effect.
That, from the spoof of the 1976 remake of “King Kong” in “Mad” magazine, and I can still remember it as clearly as if it were two or three years ago.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that “Mad” was one of my most powerful childhood influences. Years later, now that I have put aside childhood things and embraced the things of a man, I can still recall whole sections of certain issues, can recite them from memory – more or less. Especially the songs. I still can make myself grin by mentally singing snatches of songs from the “Mad ‘Star Trek’ Musical”, even though when I first read it as a kid, I didn’t know all the songs the numbers was based on. Reading the “Mad” musical spoofs was my introduction to the titles of many popular songs. Long before someone decided to bring “The Lord Of The Rings” to Broadway, long before the Peter Jackson movies, there was the “Mad ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Musical” (“The Ring & I”), featuring the Hobbits singing a song “*sung to the tune of ‘Scarborough Fair’”.
The only copy of “Mad” I still own is the issue featuring the “Mad ‘Star Wars’ Musical” (with a song by Darth Vader”*sung to the tune of ‘My Way’” – “…I have a meal of molten lead on shredded granite / And if depressed I feel, I wipe out a passing planet…”). But I must confess “Star Wars” made me hold on to it, not “Mad”-love. The spoof movie musicals were an occasional treat, but every issue featured a satire of a recently released film, and I always was over the moon about these, whether I’d seen the movie or not.
A dirty secret: I wonder – and fantasize – and worry – what might be the title of the “Mad” magazine spoof of one of my own screenplays. I earnestly believe that a spoof by “Mad” magazine is one of the greatest honors a filmmaker can receive.
It’s safe to say that “Mad” had as much influence on my music taste as it did my other aesthetic sensibilities. I remember, with delight, the occasional insert record that was included in a few of the special issues. These squares of flimsy black vinyl feature comedy songs like “Making Out” (1978) or…the other ones…erm…”Super Spectacular Day”, yes, that was another title. I remember the “Making Out” song particularly because as a little tyke I took pleasure in what seemed to be its hints of naughtiness. I enjoy writing comic songs (see “O Rambunctious Kitty!”) and reading month after month of giggle-inducing songs in “Mad” laid a good groundwork.
 And the stickers! I’d almost forgotten the stickers! In the “Mad Special” issues. Stamps for all occasions – I think there might have been lawsuits if those graffitti-mongerers had issued such stickers today (“Remember, yo. Taggin’ is a crime. Taggin’ ain’t cool. Taggin’ ain’t real.” – from an abominable Public Service Announcement I just made up). The Don Martin sound effects stickers, each featuring a different sound effect with suitable illustration by master illustrator Don Martin were my favorite. And I am still searching for opportunities to spruce up my conversation with “sizzafitz!”, “foin-sap!”, and “poit!”.
As “The Onion” has been one of my principal sources for news in adulthood, so was “Mad” my source for political and world news from ages 7 to 12. When someone today mentions Spiro Agnew or Mayor Koch, I remember them not as real life figures, but as recurring characters in “Mad”.
It’s strange how these childhood pleasures have such great influence on our lives. I really do think “Mad” magazine – because it gave me pleasure, and because I had enthusiasm and excitement for each monthly issue – affected me as much as several years of courses in the schools I attended as a kid (and my schools were pretty good).
And so, in conclusion: If any of my work makes you laugh, all credit goes to “Mad”. If not, then you know who to blame.
August 17th, 2005
 I attended Marshall Vandruff’s real good seminar “Artistic Temperaments and Achievement” last night. It covered a lot of ground that I have trodden in other workshops and classes, but last night’s treading was trodation with a good strong flashlight and a canny guide, as compared to treading in the dark with some smug bastard far behind you shouting “Go left! Now go right! You’re doing fine!…” – which has been a lot of my educational experience.
The fact that Marshall is himself an artist makes all the difference. Many art classes I have taken are presented by people who are teachers first and artists second. Many books and seminars about screenwriting I have been subjected to are presented by people who are teachers first and screenwriters second – if they are screenwriters at all. Robert McKee’s “Story”, Linda Seger’s “How To Make A Good Script Great”, Syd Field’s “Screenplay” are superior works of criticism and analysis – the screenwriting equivalent of anatomy textbooks. But ultimately those books can only teach anatomy. They cannot show you how to write. Only other writers can show you how to write, which is why it is vital to get into the same room with fellow writers, preferably writers who are better than you are, and to read – as has been discussed lately over at ScreenwritingLife.com – as many good writers as possible. I want a teacher who has done more of what I want to do than I have done – someone who has made more mistakes than I have.
“Can writing be learned?” you ask. Don’t be stupid. Of course it can. You might as well ask “Can pole vaulting be learned?” Not only can it be learned, it MUST be learned. Now whether, having learned pole vaulting, you’re a gold medal winner, or just some weirdo with a pole and a fence, is subject to the same mysterious factors that make some people alcoholics and cause others to be eaten by sharks. But I think it can only be truly learned from other writers. Most of the time we learn it through absorption. We read a line, we hear a story, and a bell goes off in our heads and we say “Aha! That’s it! That’s exactly what I want to do!” and we try to emulate that. It’s love really. We fall in love and we want to participate in and perpetuate that love. How much better it is to have a person who has also fallen in love, fallen in love more times than we have, to say, “I know how you feel. I felt that way. I still feel that way. Feeling that way is sure is trippy. Based on my experience, I suggest…”
August 2nd, 2005
AN EMAIL I WROTE LAST WEEK TO BRIAN FIES, CREATOR OF THE EISNER AWARD WINNING COMIC “MOM’S CANCER”:
Thanks for your great work. And congratulations on the Eisner!
I have written a brief blog entry about momscancer.com and wondered if you wouldn’t mind my including one of the images on your site. Normally, I’d just steal it outright from a site and not tell the person. But I am doing it differently in this case. Who can say why?
Check out the blog entry at:
http://rabbitandcrow.blogspot.com/2005/07/momscancercom.html
I’d hoped to include the introductory “Superheroes” image.
Best,
–Neal
BRIAN’S REPLY:
Neal,
Thanks very much for writing, and for asking to use one of my images. Of course you’re welcome to it. I read your blog and appreciate your opinion very much, particularly given your own family’s experience. By the way, I’m actually visiting Mom right now, and she’s doing pretty well.
Thanks again, and best wishes to you and your aunt.
Brian
THE IMAGE:
THANKS, BRIAN
July 22nd, 2005
 Of the three years I have been to Comic-Con, this was the first year I made an effort to aggressively attend the show’s craft and information panels, for to educate my self, and I was not disappointed. I jotted notes throughout, flashing back to School Days, and have now a substantial reservoir of good information on a variety of subjects that I mean to return to again and again and again until the pages are yellowed from my sweat-soaked hands and the ink there blurred from my tears of frustration and despair. Yes, as entertaining as the star-driven, blockbuster preview panels are, I will concentrate on attending these smaller fact-filled discussions at future conventions and conferences whether they be Comic-Con or else other ones that are not Comic-Con.
 On last Saturday afternoon, illustrator Marshall Vandruff’s promo chat of his new published sketchbook, “Forsaking The Bakery”, turned out to be a full-on seminar, based on Marshall’s personal experience, of how and why to keep a sketchbook, with practical examples of how his work evolved through using his own sketchbook. You hear over and over again that if you want to improve your drawing you must practice, practice, practice–but it’s good to get tips, based on another artist’s experience, on exactly what to practice, and how. Marshall Vandruff teaches in the Southern California area and I intend to seek out his workshops. At the beginning of August he will be conducting an “Animal Drawing Crash Course” that I badly need. Marshall’s sketchbook presentation show-cased his skill as an artist, but also revealed him to be a superior teacher.
And so, in conclusion, I would like to restate that I enjoyed Comic-Con 2005 a log…I meant to write “a lot” there, but I feel that “a log” describes how much I enjoyed Comic-Con 2005 even better. So yes, yes, I enjoyed Comic-Con 2005 a log. And, I suspect, if you yourself attend the Con next year, you too may find that you too enjoy it a log. Perhaps even quite a log. Perhaps a whole great big log.
July 21st, 2005
Almost famous I felt, seeing so many people I knew at last weekend’s Comic-Con panels. I went straight from the sneak preview of Rob Zombie’s “The Devil’s Rejects”, which stars my friend Bill, to a panel next door featuring Ralph Bakshi–my old “Cool World” boss (I was one of the movie’s many assistant editors).
Ralph had come to promote the August 30 DVD release of his fantasy adventure collaboration with Frank Frazetta, “Fire and Ice”. The film had been in need of restoration and Bill Lustig of Blue Underground approached Bakshi with the idea of a rehaul and release. “Fire and Ice” has been digitally restored, removing imperfections which were in the original cels when the film was shot. A sample of the film, showing the original vs. restored footage, was presented. Truthfully, I found it difficult to see any difference between the two, in the example screen, and I have a pretty finicky eye for that kind of thing. 
I have never seen “Fire and Ice”, but I’m anticipating its release. Since I was a wee barbarian man-child, I have loved both Bakshi’s and Frank Frazetta’s work, so how could I not be blown away by the collaboration Ralph described as being like an animated “Frank Frazetta comic”? But truth to tell, I am a little afraid. What if the film is terrible? I will be crushed. I just don’t know if I have the strength to stand up to that kind of discouragement. I’ll let you know. Based on the clip shown, it really does look right up my alley–sword fighting aplenty and brutish creatures carrying off haughty princesses.
The high point of the panel was Ralph’s sneak preview of his current feature project. He had brought a DVD of some animation tests which, he said, he hadn’t planned to show. It was hard to know if he was genuinely reluctant to show the work-in-progress, or if he was exercising some first-rate showmanship. After ten minutes of his hemming and hawing, we in the audience were literally begging to see it. The new project is called “The Last Days of Coney Island” and is a return to Ralph’s “mean streets” style of animation, (“Coonskin”, “Heavy Traffic”). Use of computers will allow Ralph to substantially lower his budgets for compositing and coloring, enabling him to spend more money on the the animation itself.
Though digital animation allows Ralph, essentially a low-budget filmmaker, to do work that twenty years ago would have been out of reach, he has a healthy fear of the luxuries computers afford. “Don’t love the computer too much,” he cautioned us, “You need the X Factor.” When an artist creates with his own hands accidents happen–or perhaps it’s the unconscious going to work–and things come about that could never be planned, never executed intentionally. He also pointed out that studio executives like being able to eliminate expensive artists. If a computer can approximate what 30 humans can do, the suited gang that worships the Bottom Line will always choose the computer. Ultimately, Ralph suggested, “They want to get rid of all of us and have the computer do everything.”
“The Last Days Of Coney Island” looks to be a complex story, for adults, that depicts emotions adults understand–disenchantment, longing, nostalgia, regret. The film will be animated in L.A., so all of you Cal Arts students, get your portfolios ready.
Alas, I didn’t get to say my “hello” to Ralph, though it seems unlikely he would have remembered me after a decade-plus. He was accosted by a guy from the Neighborhood (Brooklyn, that would be), someone he apparently hadn’t seen in decades and off they went together to discuss..what?…Their days at Coney Island perhaps.
July 20th, 2005
“1:30-3:00, Comic-Con WebComics School 103: Making Money — You may be widely read and much adored, but when will your webcomic start paying the bills? Bill Barnes (Unshelved) leads fellow web cartoonists Scott Kurtz (PvP), Steve Troop (Melonpool), David Willis (It’s Walky!), Raina Telgemeier (Smile), and Andy Bell (The Creatures In My Head) in a discussion of how they have succeeded–and failed–to make money from their webcomics. Room 4″
…Thus read the Comic-Con events calendar listing for a panel I attended on Sunday, July 17. Before this panel I would have told you, if asked to define it, that merchandising is…it’s…well…I just don’t know what. Now I can say confidentally that merchandising is turning what you DO into something you can SELL.
A late addition to the panel was a representative of the business side of Penny Arcade Comics, Robert Khoo. Not an artist, he was invaluable in grounding the discussion in the realities of the businessworld. Even with some experience under my belt, I still want to make money from my creative work without having to observe the laws of economics. It’s like wanting people to love you but not wanting to talk to them, or even be nice to them–also an affliction I have not fully shaken. Of course, “make money” does not equal “get rich”. If you want to get rich, you’re an idiot for becoming an artist (my own belief and not presented in the panel). Anyway, I have the distilled the panel discussion into its bare bones below.
In launching your merchandising empire, start first with paper products. They’re the cheapest to make, and people always want hard copies of your work. Even though they might be able to access your Web work day or night, fans still like something they can take home to have and to hold and to smell. Scott Kurtz told how he had printed small copies of his work on high-quality card stock, then signed and numbered them and sold them at conventions individually, or offered them as free bonuses if readers also bought a comic. “Readers love deals,” he said. He also urged, “Save everything you draw. Everything. Everything you draw can be repurposed for merchandise.” The large number of artists’ sketchbooks for sale at Comic-Con attests to the soundness of the advice.
Some great general advice for any artist, but certainly a fine base to build on from a merchandising perspective, was to be dependable. The proverbial flakey artist is an unknown and unsuccessful artist. Keep a schedule and stick to it. If you’re releasing your material every Monday at 9am, make sure you stick to that deadline, come hell or high water. In doing so, you will begin to earn the trust of your fans. Without an audience, the artist is only half-complete. You owe your fans everything.
Simplicity seems to again and again rise to the top as the best policy. “Charge one dollar, not 75 cents,” it was said. People can easily pull a dollar out of their pocket, can less easily pull out two quarters, two dimes, and a nickel. Present yourself professionally. If you operate like a professional, people will treat you–and pay you, one hopes– like a professional. Ask for help. Call and email other artists to pick their brains and learn from their successes and failures.
T-SHIRTS & PRINTING
There was discussion about whether it was a better bet to create merchandise using print-on-demand services like CafePress.com or by printing in bulk. One panelist gave an example of being able to print a run of 600 t-shirts for $4 each at a local printer, then he sold the shirts for around $10 each. Another simple way to keep your costs down is to limit the number of colors you print. Stick to 4 colors or less.
A downside to printing in bulk is manhandling inventory. Several panelists shared tales of woe about homes full of boxes of unsold inventory and having to transport these boxes to and from shows and conventions. Some of the panelists had sworn off CafePress because they felt there was too little profit for the artist, while others were very happy with CafePress as a means to evade this problem of inventory buildup, since CafePress prints material only when it is ordered, then ships it directly to the customer.
Print your merchandise locally, it was urged. You can meet face-to-face the person who will be printing it, and can personally oversee the process yourself and be available to address problems or questions. Andy Bell sited his experience putting his stuff in local mom & pop stores. Local specialty shops are a great means to get your shirts, dolls, etc. out into the marketplace and is surprisingly easy to manage with a little bit of footwork.
In printing shirts, one of the unexpectedly difficult, but essential, questions is how many to print of each size. These off-the-cuff calculations–based, I believe, on Penny Arcade sales made at Comic-Con–were presented as a starting point:
5% – Baby Doll
10% – Small
25% – Medium
30% – Large
20% – XLarge
5% – XXLarge
2.5% – XXXLarge
ADVERTISING & BUSINESS
Nearly everybody on the panel emphasized an education in business as essential.
Learn about taxes. Over and over panel members emphasized the necessity of keeping track of your tax situation, paying taxes in a timely manner, keeping good records. Taking a business class also seems essential. Again, it is foolishness to expect to be paid for you work without knowing how and why it happens.
One panel member originally opted for sponsorship on his site. He charged a flat rate for one month, with a new sponsor each month. He then moved to CPM (cost per 1000) based advertising, where advertisers pay in proportion to the traffic on your site. This can be $2 – $10 “per click” depending on the volume of the traffic. On a cautionary not however, advertisers were described as “lazy” and can regard advertising on a site that has less than 100,000 page views per month as a waste of their time.
Finally, make sure you charge enough for postage, and unless you want a lousy table at the back, apply for booth space at Comic-Con 2006 now!
July 19th, 2005
10 Things I Bought At Comic-Con
1.) “Artesia #1″ (Mark Smylie)
2.) “Autobiography of an Artist” (Charles R. Knight, w/intro by William Stout, foreward by Ray Bradbury & Ray Harryhausen)
3.) “Bear #5″ (Jamie Smart)
4.) “Bug Girl #1″ (George M. Dondero & Ruben Deluna)
5.) “Cenozoic #1″ (Mark Fearing)
6.) Gandhi “Peace” T-shirt (by Damion Scott)
7.) “Johnny, The Homicidal Maniac #2″ (Jhonen Vasquez)
8.) “Lenore #6″ (Roman Dirge)
9.) “The Red Star: The Battle Of Kar Dathra’s Gate” (Christian Gossett, et al.)
10.) “Squee #4″ (Jhonen Vasquez, et al.)
July 18th, 2005
This week it will be all Comic-Con all the time.
Beware. I am unlikely to go on at length about the sneak preview of the “Doom” movie (but Lorenzo di Bonaventura has really put on weight and I am frankly worried about him–and where was Jon Farhat, once attached as director to my very own “Carnival Earth”?).
No, I won’t talk about that.
Nor am I likely to relate the highlights of the Kevin Smith Q & A or of the “King Kong” panel–after which Tenacious D played a show to an audience of several thousand fans (Rob AttackCat is the music expert. Check him out for the dirt on The D). Why? Because I wasn’t there. And why not? Was I insane? Where the hell I was and wherefore–that I will tell you all about. So stay tuned. Lots of good info to come.
Today, I’ll keep it simple. There are scores of excellent artists at Comic-Con. And hundreds of good ones. And thousands of mediocre ones. And it’s one thing to see the art in a book, another thing to get to see originals up close. To make a definitive list of “Best Artists” would be an exercise in eel-slippery subjectivity, also an exercise without much merit. It’s all a matter of taste, isn’t it? And feeling too. And other senses. Definitely not brainwork though. And never beyond questioning.
Here are 10 artists whose work knocked me out this weekend:
1.) Celia Calle
2.) Mark Fearing
3.) Andy Lee
4.) David Mack
5.) David Malki
6.) Alberto Ruiz
7.) Damion Scott
8.) Mark Smylie
9.) Heather Theurer
10.) Chris Wisnia
Who do you like?
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…or words to that effect.
And the stickers! I’d almost forgotten the stickers! In the “Mad Special” issues. Stamps for all occasions – I think there might have been lawsuits if those graffitti-mongerers had issued such stickers today (“Remember, yo. Taggin’ is a crime. Taggin’ ain’t cool. Taggin’ ain’t real.” – from an abominable Public Service Announcement I just made up). The Don Martin sound effects stickers, each featuring a different sound effect with suitable illustration by master illustrator Don Martin were my favorite. And I am still searching for opportunities to spruce up my conversation with “sizzafitz!”, “foin-sap!”, and “poit!”.
