Usually, when gifts are bestowed upon me, or when I am fortunate enough to own some material item of worth, I immediately lose it or break it.
But there’s one material object that has stood by me – and I by it – for many years, as reliable and unflagging as an abusive spouse. That would be my Apple Quadra 800 computer, purchased in 1993.
I have written many great works of genius on this computer, and have looked at many unsavory pictures on the internet. The computer hasn’t worked well for a few years. And the last time it was able to run the most up-to-date system software was some time in 1998, I think. Before the great 68K/Power PC switchover.
Over the years, the computer inhaled tremendous amounts of second-hand smoke, at all hours of the day and night, and still ran without complaint. It is the Ford LTD station wagon of computers. Indestructible – and the battle vehicle of choice for soldiers from the future who have returned to the present to fight deadly unstoppable androids (see “The Terminator” (1984) and “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” (1991) for examples which so feature station wagons)(though not Apple Quadra computers).
But the Quadra has sat dark and brooding under various desks, for several years – like a very old cat – looking enviously at the computers that actually work.
We had been talking about it for a while. But I decided…today was the day…
I took the Quadra out to the woods down near the crick…tied its leash to a tree…and, fighting back tears, raised my shotgun…while the Quadra looked back with innocent eyes…