Semi-Major Axis 1
You've got to protect your writing time when you're starting out. Find out when you can write and protect that time. You have to protect it. If you don't protect it, nobody will. You can accomplish a lot in two hours.

- William Goldman, Screenwriting Expo 2005

H@PpY BD@y 2 da rcB!!!!!!!!

The rabbit + crow blog is 1 year old today.

A year ago today, my friend Attack Cat’s vicious insults and sarcastic barbs finally convinced me that I was worthless in every conceivable way, beyond Gollum-wretched, and a waste of other people’s oxygen. But he said that I might possibly – just possibly – redeem myself if I were to start a blog.

So I started a blog.

I called this blog the rabbit + crow blog.

I called it this because everything I do I call the “rabbit + crow (thing that I do)”. When I vomit, I call it the “rabbit + crow vomit”, when I contemplate suicide I call it the “rabbit + crow suicide contemplation”, when I hate God for all the atrocities he has committed, I call it the “rabbit + crow hatred of God’s atrocities”, when I get the guilts, I call them the “rabbit + crow guilts”.

As I did promise in the covenent I made with thee, I am presenting a new t-shirt today to celebrate that the blog that I call the “rabbit + crow blog” has made it all the way around the sun without once being boarded by stormtroopers (and not the Nazi stormtroopers, I’m talking about those REALLY SCARY stormtroopers in “Star Wars”!).

My friend Attack Cat once coined a very great slogan.

Or maybe he didn’t actually coin it. I’m not sure what it means to “coin” something, to tell you the truth. So I really don’t know if he “coined” it or not. Only he knows for sure. Ask him. But when we worked together at the Great Dot Com That Was Going To Revolutionize The Movie Industry But Actually Ended Up Becoming A Cash Cow For A Bunch Of Pudgy White College Boys In Blue Shirts & Ties, he said to me: “You know, if it’s not free, it’s not worth having.”

And I said: “That’s great! I’m going to put that on a t-shirt and tell everyone I thought of it.”

Of course, that never did happen.

Oh, I did tell everyone that I thought of it, but I never put it on a t-shirt. Even when I started designing and selling shirts last year, I somehow avoided making that one shirt that I was so excited about in the early days.

Afraid that it wouldn’t be as good/as fulfilling/as liked as I hoped, I suppose.

Today, in honor of the rabbit + crow blog’s 1st birthday, I give you the first iteration of the t-shirt, “If It’s Not Free, It’s Not Worth Having”.

I’m going to post multiple variations on the design over the next days. So if you don’t like the colors on this one, check back tomorrow or the day after or the day after or the day after until you see the version you like.

It is delightful – and a little amazing to me – that I actually have readers. ReaderS. That’s more than 1! Incredible.

So to you, readers…

…Thank you. Thank you. You read me, and I don’t even have to pay you for it. Thank you.

New T-Shirt - C is for Ceratopsian

The new Rabbit + Crow design is available now!

This month, in the wake of our “What’s Your Favorite Ceratopsian?” poll, we present the world’s premiere t-shirt featuring silhouettes of the major Ceratopsian dinosaurs. I think we can confidently declare that no other t-shirt featuring silhouettes of the major Ceratopsian dinosaurs matches this one in quality and superbness.

Of course, the design doesn’t stop at mere chest adornment! At the Rabbit + Crow Shop you will also find Ceratopsian coasters, stickers, posters, mugs, as well as a selection of underpants with three different horny Ceratopsian designs from which to choose from.

SAVE THE CUTTING HARE! (new t-shirt)

As promised, the new Rabbit + Crow t-shirt design is available today!

This month’s design calls attention to the plight of the CUTTING HARE, the WORLD’S ONLY VENOMOUS LAGOMORPH!

Remember: the Cutting Hare is not a real animal.

It is entirely fictitious.

But if it were real animal, it would be ENDANGERED!

New T-Shirt Tomorrow

Today is Sunday. The Sabbath.

Normally I wouldn’t work on a Sunday. But since tomorrow there will be a new Rabbit + Crow t-shirt design available, I thought I’d…I mean it’s not like it’s Commandment Number I, right? It’s way down the list isn’t it? “Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy, kick it and chill, watch some sports” – I forget how it exactly goes. In any case, it’s like Commandment VIII or something. It’s not like “Do not look ‘pon thy neighbor’s ass with covetous scowlings” which is Commandment II or III, I think.

So, yes, tomorrow the new design goes on sale.

Go to the Rabbit + Crow Shop directly at: or click on the Rabbit + Crow Shop link on the sidebar. Or you can access the store via the menu bar at Merchandise will be ready to buy tomorrow – Monday, August 1 – after 9am Pacific Time.

And the great thing is that you can buy as many as you want. If you wanted to buy 350 shirts, 10 mugs, 8 stickers and a pair of underpants, you could! No one could stop you! How wonderful is that?!

Anyway, it’s a cool design. I like it a lot. I hope you will too.