They smashed our pumpkin! The spiteful monsters smashed our pumpkin!

We hadn’t even carved it yet.

My wife and I woke to prepare our annual Ye H’allowe’en’ Even-Tide’s Yard Sale, and as we stepped onto the porch we saw…we saw…

…Oh, the horror of it! The seeds! The rind! Those stringy bits! Oh, shattered nature! Oh, deed never to be undone! Oh, wretched violation of home and hearth! Oh, squash-ed squash! Oh! Oh!

Yeah, someone smashed our pumpkin over the weekend. And, yes, I was too lazy to carve a jack-o-lantern. I wonder, if I had carved one, would the pumpkin still be with us? You know, like how if you’re a superior graffiti artist, taggers will pass over you out of professional respec’. Perhaps the Pumpkin Smashers might have paused, recognizing my jack-o-lantern skills, and said: “His carving is masterful. Truly he has been guided by Apollo himself. Let us move on lest we risk the great god’s wrath.” Something along those lines.

But here is picture of last year’s jack-o-lantern: