The Experts say that you should focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. But…oh, it’s so deliciously enjoyable to focus on the things you don’t want. Isn’t it?

But I mustn’t. No. I must not. I must focus on the positive. The positive. Yes. The positive…positive…

…so here is a List Of 10 Things I Positively Do Not Want.

I do not want…

1.) …to live in Los Angeles for the rest of my life.
2.) …to acquire a rapidly spreading rash.
3.) …to live to be 120 years old.
4.) …to be 40 and still filling out a timecard.
5.) …to be struck in the back of the neck with a very heavy, very sharp object.
6.) …to be eaten at a leisurely pace by Great White Sharks.
7.) …to have to explain myself to the judge.
8.) …to come out of a blackout somewhere on the 5 freeway at 3am.
9.) …to be gutshot.
10.) …to love my enemies.