Tomorrow is the Academy Awards.

I’ll be there.

I got my tux from the cleaners today. I have my gold dragon pattern bowtie ready to go. I have my patent leather shinyshoes ready and waiting. I am willing to shave.

I suppose “Brokeback Mountain” will win what with because it has to do with a social issues of the modern today.

Also it is the only one of the Best Picture nominees that I have actually seen – which is pathetic for a guy who claims to love movies so much.

But, yes, I’ll be there smiling like an idiot, doing my SPECIAL JOB THAT I CAN’T REVEAL.

Look for me.

I’ll be the one smiling like an idiot.